The following philosophical-satire (if that’s a thing) was submitted by C E Hoffman, author of Sluts and Whores. But it has to be a thing, especially since writers love satire – I mean cats. Sluts and Whores is a short story collection in which each story questions stereotypes that are long out of date, merging horror with heartache and magic with the mundane.
Life Hacks Learned From a Cat
1. Kiss your loved ones.
Kiss them like their life depends on it.
Kiss them like your life depends on it.
Kiss them like kisses make them clean.
2. Boundaries matter.
Tell people when you need space. (Don’t overcorrect.)
It’s okay to stay or go. (You can always come back!)
3. Attain a balance of play and rest.
Any time or place can constitute naps or games.
You don’t need fancy shit to have fun.
4. People (and cats) can change.
(If given the opportunity.)
Be patient. Forgive. Hold space.
If are you enjoying this light-hearted article, check out some of our other Literary content at The Ritual blog here.
5. Our time is limited.
Cats may have nine lives, but none of those lives are long enough.
The only thing that lasts is love.
So love- hard, and often. Love enough in one moment to last a lifetime.
Love enough in one lifetime to last an eternity.
Martin Millar, author of Lonely Werewolf Girl, The Good Fairies of New York, and others
The human spirit remains fresh-voiced, optimistic and youthful in Hoffman’s imaginative writing.
More about Sluts and Whores:
Sluts and Whores, written by C E Hoffman is available for purchase at Amazon.
A jealous girlfriend trips on acid. A traumatized mother attempts to masturbate; a spa worker is challenged to take control of her fate. A haunted jeep parks in front of student housing. A sex worker grows wings; a hitchhiker is picked up by someone she never expected. Welcome to the Big City, where anything can happen…and very often does. In this debut collection from C E Hoffman, explore the humanity of sex workers (“whores”) and people who are proudly sexual (“sluts”). Each story questions stereotypes that are long out of date, merging horror with heartache, and magic with the mundane.
If are you enjoying this light-hearted article, check out some of our other Literary content at The Ritual blog here.
What People Are Saying About C E Hoffman
C E Hoffman is a fearless writer.
Jack Wang, author of We Two Alone and winner of the 2021 Danuta Gleed Literary Award
Neil S. Reddy, author of Cause for Concern
Jane Austen would read it in bed.
Justin Bookworm, Razorcake Issue #123
Hoffman’s writing style reminds one of Burroughs at his most straightforward or Irvine Welsh at his strangest, but with a presentation dominated primarily by women and queer characters- a refreshing change in this particular milieu.…Hoffman is definitely a writer to watch for, and I look forward to what they give us next.
Mind on Fire Books 